The Toilet: An Essay on Meditation

A perennial object that is a mainstay in the lives of the entire world population has a special place in the lives of many. However, the reason may not at first seem apparent and definitely not the first to come to mind, especially when considering what object is being highlighted. This object, known in the western world as a beautiful piece of glazed porcelain, has a circular or oval opening (bowl) with water sitting at the bottom, and an attached reservoir with fresh water. The fresh water in the reservoir flushes and replaces the water in the bowl after capturing evil spirits from the user. This bowl is known collectively as a toilet, though its contemporary name, especially amongst aficionados has come to be referred to as “The Throne”. Like a throne, glimmering and radiating with aura, its polished nature not only reflects its surroundings, but also the occupier’s soul. However, this reflection is mainly inward and can be heightened during times of unrest. When the core of the inward self is agitated, it is the place that calls for rest and relief. This relief has stayed consistent, even before the time of porcelain, with the feeling never wavering through the toilet’s evolution through time. With this progressive change and aesthetic maturation, the toilet’s main function, though “secondary”, hasn’t deviated since its initial conception. This function is the subconscious meditation that can bring one to the astral plane and even warp time itself.

It is said that the modern toilet began its journey with the Romans. It created an atmosphere of community and camaraderie that is still shared to this day in public areas that attract those to food, drink, and entertainment. As the toilet matured, it went through many iterations where it cleaned the environment, saved lives, and in time, became high art with the showing of Marcel Duchamp’s Fountain in 1917. However, when talking about the toilet and especially, its secondary function, one is hard pressed not to think about Rodin’s sculpture, The Thinker. This sculpture was part of Rodin’s Gates of Hell commission, where The Thinker is sitting on a “rock” with his right elbow crossing the body and resting on his left knee, and right fist under chin in contemplation. Though some would argue that The Thinker is not positioning himself on a toilet, evidence on the contrary would suggest that The Thinker is in the stages before constipated rigor mortis, as he is in a constrictive posture on the precipice of the supreme meditative state, suggesting a bowel movement that may eventually bring one to the Gates of Hell. This is all too well known, and though not a peaceful relief and meditation, this exaggerated form is encountered when a diet heavy in spices and peppers is introduced into one’s vessel. Though not a blissful meditative experience, it can bring forth a primal meditation that brings one to a realm and slows the march of time where one contemplates their life and its choices.

This warp in time, however, doesn’t always occur during these deep primal meditations. In fact, it is a rather common occurrence, and this experience is mostly noticed by outside spectators. The spectators do not know what the occupier has situated themselves in, and with time in the immediate vicinity of the toilet slowing down, the outside observer notices nothing else other than the hands of the clock, ticking at an insurmountable speed. One may even liken this phenomenon to the hypothetical experiment where the occupier is alone on the toilet, stationed in the middle of the Earth, where the gravitational force is enough to induce time-travel.

The experiences of both have given humans innumerable visions. Some will argue that we may not have the technology we have today if it wasn’t for the toilet and these experiences. These experiences alone can be the womb to birth some religions. Just like religions, the evolution of the toilet has gone through many forms and has transformed its adjacent sphere and environment. With this transformation, more good has come than bad, and the beauty of the toilet knows no bounds; whether in a hole; made of gold; in the middle of a granite walled room; surrounded by particle board tagged with the names and numbers of individuals or groups “looking for a good time”, undoubtedly wanting to share their experiences within the very confines; a port-o-potty; on a squatty potty; and many other places that allow for the proper disposal of waste, the nature of the toilet and its encompassing environment will never not attract those in need. Just like the gospels of the hip-hop duo Outkast, “roses really smell like poo-poo-pooo.” So, no matter which experience comes to the front during these moments of enlightenment, the heavens are always closer when the flush of the water brings us back to Earth.